Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad
But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny
being horny is so fucking stupid. if you horny you’re immediately a dumbass. that person could literally just be wearing a t shirt and the sight of their collarbone feels like you just snorted a line of coke. god fucking forbid they wear pants rolled over their ankles. you’re foaming at the mouth and crounched on the floor like a fucking animal. you catch the sight of (1) toned muscle? flatlined. dead.
This also works for craving romantic attention. Like, they smiled? I’m in tears. Our gazes meet? My heart is fluttering. If I receive a single complement from them, I an proposing.
posts that make you understand repressed victorian gentlemen upon witnessing a fair maiden’s scandalously exposed ankle
Keira Knightley talks about Pirates of the Caribbean and her boobs.
Oh I love her
they also digitally enhanced her boobs for the King Arthur movie poster which she responded with “comes from market research that clearly shows that other women refuse to look at famous actresses and stars with small breasts.”
When you’re watching Prop Culture on Disney+ and find out they just destroyed The Nightmare Before Christmas sets and half the reason we have any props left was because of the cast and crew saving what they could
i have accidentally created a 500mb file/image of some plants
BUT i have intentionally created an 80 megapixel image of some plants:
the stem of the plant is a third of a millimeter in width, for reference, and there’s a good chance those patterns you see in the stem are the cell walls of individual plant cells (pls let me know if i’m wrong as fuck). i don’t know what to do with this info! thanks for coming
Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.
And now since I officially have permission to use this photo
